Toy weapons...

It took us a long time to buy Alex a toy weapon. He was using anything as a sword so we capitualted and bought him a foam one.

It was only short-sighted saving of legs and furniture that prompted the purchase. I really didn't want him to have any weapons but since he was determined to use pretend swords regardless of my views, we gave in.

I'm uncertain about our purchase of bubble guns too. We are calling them bubble squirters but Alex is still "killing monsters" with them.

You might be laughing at my reservations of such toys. "They're harmless" I have heard people say a fair bit. But I just don't like the idea of my 3yr old son choosing to hurt or kill something delibertaely, albeit imaginative. (And yes, I'm concerned about Alex coz Megan isn't at all interested)

The recent shooting at an American primary school has prompted much debate about guns in our society, how toys and games innoculate kids against the horror of death and serious injury. I am a very keen anti-gun supporter and am glad Australia is different to America in regards to gun laws.

Many poeple say that guns don't kill, people do. To some extend that is true, but how many 6 yr olds would be dead if that man in America had only a knife instead?

I guess I just want to keep my little boy from thinking it's ok and normal to stab or shoot another human or animal. Maybe he'll never be like that and I'm worrying (and controlling) over nothing.


But I also wonder if the parents of that man in America had the same fears?.......


Related post- Boys and Guns...
 
 

Going Overboard...

I'm about to be controversial...hold onto your hats...

The consumerism and "I want, I want" mentality of kids is our fault...us....parents.

Do kids really need 10 birthday presents? NO.

Do kids know if you have spent the same amount of money on one and not the other? NO.

It's our own sense of fairness and keeping up with the Jones' that leads us to buying more, doing more.

Mike and I were racking our brains for types of food to include in Alex's Dinosaur Birthday Party last weekend. We thought for weeks about how to make a dinosaur birthday cake. But this was us trying to make everything perfect, not Alex demanding a party with strict design and food guidelines!

Would he have been happy with a plain round (even store-bought) cake... No doubt. The fact that it had a candle on it and it was for HIS party was all that mattered.

And Christmas.... Ahhh Christmas....

The time of year where parents feel they have to give their kids the biggest and best of everything.

We had planned to make a cubby house for the kids this Christmas, but time and money got away from us. But hubby then decided that we had to spend the money that was for the cubby on the kids anyway.  HOLD UP!!!

The kids didn't know they were getting the cubby house, they didn't know how much it was going to cost, they will not notice amongst their other gifts that they are missing out. They are getting plenty already...no need to go out and buy more, simply to assuage our guilt over not being able to provide one particular thing.

Alex would be happy with a $1 bubble wand from Kmart and Megan would love a packet of new hair clips or nail polish.

So why do we feel the need to have to get them expensive, fandangled super-toys?

Parent guilt... That's why! (OK, and possibly some really good company marketing strategies!)

Lots of big gifts under the tree looks great. A mountain of wrapping paper ripped from presents on christmas morning makes us feel good.

But it leads to the one trait of kids that I can't stand.....greed.

And our little boy displayed exactly that on the morning of his party when he said...

"Where's my next present??"

Why do boys need to touch their willies...?

Seriously....all the time?????????

Big Kids..

There are many signs of becomming a big kid...some momentous, some not so...

Alex knows he is a big kid now because he does wee and poo in the toilet.

Megan knows she's a big kid becuase she no longer needs the straps on the back of her thongs!

Losing Robbie...

For those familiar with our family, you'll know who Robbie is and how important he is. For those new around here, he is a blanky-type toy belonging to Alex. Robbie is there when Alex feels sick, sad, and almost everything in between!



Robbie can get quite gross after being dragged around so much.
Read here and here for my thoughts on that!

As is normal for an almost 3 yr old, Robbie gets dropped as soon as something more interesting takes Alex's fancy. Which means we find Robbie in all manner of places.

And sometimes, Alex deliberately hides Robbie in weird places...coz it's fun. The only problem is that he forgets where that weird place is and we spend hours and hours (seriously!!) looking for him.

The other night we couldn't find Robbie again, even after looking in cupboards, under couches and in the fridge (yes, we've found him there before!) So Alex went to bed without him, without much of a fuss I might add.

We did find him the next day, hidden at the very back under Alex's bed. Heaven knows how he got there.

The new rule is he must always stay in Alex's room and is only for bed time. So we might be at the stage where he doesn't need his bunny-blanket-thing as much as he used to.

One more indicator that my baby is no longer a baby, and he is well on his way to becomming a a bone-fide boy!

A family past-time...

My family on my Dad's side has always played cards. My Nana, the Matriarch at almost 90, is the family teacher and has passed her love onto her four boys, her ten grandchildren and now onto the next generation. She always says, "I teach them the games and then they beat me at them!"

We know a variety of games, and some are much more skilled than others. But whenever we get together with a bit of spare time (which is almost never!), the cards invariably come out.

When I was playing Gin Rummy with Nana a few weeks ago, the kids wanted to join in. At four and almost three years of age, pretty much everything in my small repertoirre was beyond them.

So we taught them SNAP! It was a very slow, deliberately leading game, but the kids loved the competition of it and Alex's attention was captured for at least 8 or 9 minutes!!!

From my point of view, the games were always for fun, although getting loads of draw fours in Uno can start to increase my blood pressure! And if things ever got too intense, Nana would always come out with her trade mark line of "We're not playing for sheep stations". It's become a family joke now!

I'm hoping that the kids' interest will stick around long enough to teach them a few more basic games, along with teaching them the important lesson of losing gracefully!

Having a 'boy look'..........

I think it's genetic. Some kind of chromosomal thing.

"I can't find it" he says
"Did you look for it?" I reply
"No, I can't find it!" he says again...as if it is reasonable to surmise that the reason he can't find it is because he hasn't looked for it!

I know he's only two, but when his dad does the same thing, I conclude its one of those boy things!

Our Vegie Patch...



Anything that starts with a trip to Bunnings and jumping in puddles, has to be awesome!!!

Our vegie patch has been a bit hit and miss so far, but now that we know what grows well, what takes too long and what we don't eat, we are wiser gardeners!

Megan has loved going and picking lettuce anytime I've needed it. And Alex has dragged us over the broccolli heads almost every day telling us "It's growing!". So instead of just doing it all myself, I thought I'd better let the kids join in.

I've read in so many places that a good way to get kids to eat vegies is to get them to grow them, so that was the plan. The kids have been great with watering the plants whenever they think of it...usually with a scoop of water from the dog bowl, though!

Alex helped with the seeds, which was perfect for his micro-second attention span, and Megan helped plant out the seedlings.

Rockmelon seeds...I think!



3-4 week old seedlings from seeds we scooped out of a capsicum and a pumpkin, in my awesome lidded seed raisers
(They are old supermarket-bought salad containers!!)



Megan seems a bit more knowledgable in the whole gardening caper, either because she is interested or because she is that little a bit older. Whatever the reason, she is a great help!

In go the broccoli seedlings



Currently we are growing... capsicum, tomatoes, parsley, chives, rosemary, thyme, oregano, corriander, broccoli, carrots, lettuce, spinach, zuccini, cucumber, celery, watermelon, rockmelon, pumpkin, cauliflower, cabbage, spring onions and mushrooms. I've got my heart set on a few fruit trees as well. I don't think we will actually grow enough to cut out fruit/vegie purchases completely, but surely it will help a bit, and it's fun!

 

And in a few months, we will get more of these!!



A different kind of reading...

 

I loved talking books as a kid. I loved listening for the chime to know when to turn the page! (The stories were good too!)

 

The ones I used to have were on cassette tape and things have moved on from there. I'm sure they will be available to download to iPods and MP3 players, if they aren't already.

 

Though we have had a few of these book/CD packs for a while, we have never really encouraged the kids to enjoy them, until today.

 

Since Alex has been having long afternoon sleeps, Megan has been using this time as quiet time. And to jazz this time up a bit (and keep her entertained for longer), Mike pulled out his old CD walkman and we hooked up some old computer speakers to it...and voila!

 

 

Megan sat and listened to Disney princess, Toy Story and Sesame St stories for more than an hour, in her room with her door closed (so it didn't wake Alex..and we didn't disturb her **wink, wink**)

 

It also rekindled my own love of reading along with the CD, so I sat and read a few with Megan as well!

 

 

 

Speech worries... UPDATED

I've thought that being a mum has made me a better teacher and being a teacher has made me a better mum. But lately I've had to question this.

We think Alex is developing a stutter. He really struggles to say the first word of almost all sentences, regardless of what sound/letter it is. He gets frustrated with himself and has started whispering when he can't get the words out. Usually this helps but he can't go through life whispering to everyone!

My wonderful Maternal-Child Health Nurse put us onto the local medical centre that has speech pathology, but Alex wont be seen until at least January- where he will be screened, and if he needs therapy, another wait until June-ish.

Being a teacher, I know the early signs of lots of different problems, and recently working with special needs children has given me access to Speech Pathologists and Psychologists and knowing some of the signs they look out for. I know that early intevention is the best senario for almost all difficulties in children, but am I seeing things that aren't really there? Are we jumping to conclusions? Do I know too much about the area and making things bigger than what they are?

I'm not sure I am. And since my mum and the staff at his Day Care have noticed his struggles as well, it makes me think I'm not making it up.

My other worry is that if there is a problem that can be helped with therapy, do I really want to wait until June (9ish months away) to begin working on it?

We have a list of private Speech Pathologists as well, but our health insurance doesn't cover Speech Therapy. So this option will be pricey, and money is not free-flowing at the moment...if ever!! But if it will help Alex in the long term, then I'm all for doing it.

All I really want is an assessment and for a professional in the field to say "Yes, we need to do something about this" or "No, wait to see if he will grow out of it".

And of course, the private Speechies are all busy and I had to leave messages and wait for them to return my calls. So for now...we wait.....

...I think I've said in previous posts....I'm not good at waiting.......


****UPDATE*****
I spoke to a Speech Pathologist yesterday who put my mind at ease. She said due to Alex's age it's best to wait a few months to see what happens. Apparently if he is going to grow out of the stutter, then it's best to wait and see if he does. This suits the timeline we were given in the public system, so we might stay there. And trying to get an almost 3yr old to sit still for an assessment and then therapy is not realistic.

They don't know why some kids grow out of it and some don't, but it is commonly girls who do. This doesn't surprise me, when everything you hear says girls have better language skills earlier than boys.

She said that if we are super worried about it, we can still start earlier. I think if we did go privately, I'd definately see this Speech Pathologist. She was prepared to talk to me for 10minutes about it all and convince me NOT to pay $120 for her assessment. That to me says she's there for the interest of the child, not her business.

So we wait.....

My "little" girl...

For those who don't know Megan...she is little. Petite, people always tell me. I was worried about this fact for such a long time... and it has taken me a long time to accept that this is the proportions of my girl.

Here is a bit of her back-story.

Megan was a good size when she was born- 6lbs 14oz (or just over 3kg) and 48cm long. Not really anything to suggest that she would take after her 6ft+ dad but that wasn't a huge concern!

My friend had told me not to buy many size 0000 clothes because the babies grew out of them too quickly. I had bought a couple just in case and was glad of it...they were too big! Hubby had to dash out soon after Megan was born to grab a few 00000 clothes, just so her early photos weren't always of her hiding amongst jumpsuits! It's funny to look back on those 00000 clothes now and marvel at how tiny they are.

She started breastfeeding well, and all seemed lovely. But she did not put weight on fast and I was always worried about my milk supply. I had 2 people in my life who had had serious issues with breastfeeding and undernourished babies, so I was always panicky about Megan's feeding.

My mum and many women around me were of the pro-choice-for-baby-feeding persuasion, so I had no pressure to continue breastfeeding, except from myself. I wasn't gung-ho about it, but wanted to give it a good go. Alas, after 6 weeks of slow weight gain, and almost no milk ever able to be expressed, Megan went onto formula.

It was such a relief to have made that decision- I was stressing myself out over her size and my suply constantly. Our mother's group consisted of about 8 mums and bubs all born within a few weeks of each other, and Megan was one of the smallest. I had always thought it was to do with my low milk supply, but despite moving to formula, Megan's size didn't dramatically change. Had I made the wrong decision and my supply was fine after all? We'll never know, I guess.

She was always on the lowest percentile of all the growth charts, but the nurses assured me this was fine, because she was in proportion and her growth was steady.

So after finally realising that Megan will always just be small (perhaps taking after my grandmother who is only about 5ft 3), I got used to buying clothes that SHOULD be a size too small for her. When she turned 2, she was in size 1 clothes, and so on. The other mother's group kids were the opposite- 3 years old, buying size 4 and 5 clothes.

She is still about half a head shorter than the kids in mother's group and she gets clothes passed down from one of her BFF's who is only 6 weeks older. It's always been a bit of a joke how different the sizes of the kids are, some are VERY tall and then there's Megan! She and Alex often get mistaken for twins because he is almost the same height. I can't be bothered explaining it anymore...I just smile and walk away!

So you can imagine my surprise, after 4 years of automatically grabbing a size smaller than her age, today I had to keep grabbing bigger sizes of singlets. 4s were too small!! AMAZING!

She will never be on the Australian Olympic basketball team....perhaps a gymnast instead??

**For those interested, I had the same worry about milk supply when feeding Alex. He was always just SOOO hungry and never slept, that we moved him to formula much earlier. He is about average in his growth, not the same small frame of his sister. Perhaps it was because we moved him to formula sooner. Again...we will never know.

Playing...

There are two times of the day where I can (almost) guarantee the kids can play together nicely....first thing in the morning and bedtime.

First thing in the morning- straight after getting up, before breakfast, before getting dressed, mainly before mum and dad get up. Perhaps they feel fully rested after a good night's sleep. Perhaps they missed each other overnight. Perhaps they liike having the house to themselves to do whatever and play with whatever they like. Either way, for my kids, the imaginiative, co-operative play comes second to none first thing in the morning.

Bedtime is another calm, friendly playtime. Perhaps a bath does have calming effects after all (I always thought the kids seemed more revved up after fun and splashing in the bath!). Perhaps they realise that they are about to spend 12 hours in their own rooms away from each other. Perhaps they know that if they play nicely, they might get to stay up a little longer!

Who knows? All I know is that I aprecieate those NICE playtimes....proof that they CAN play without fighting!

Current phrases...

We seem to have cycles of phrases that go round and round our house, then slowly disappear.

There are 3 phrases currently ( though I suspect one will be around for quite a while!)

1. I WANT TO DO IT ... ALL BY MYSELF!--We hear this for everything, so naturally EVERYTHING takes ages! Independent little buggers!

2. SIXTY HUNDRED-- Apparently this is the most you can love someone!!

3. MU-U-UUM-- long and drawn out. I was so excited when they first said Mum....but now.....!!????

Will I jinx myself....?

I hummed and harred over writing this post or not. I really don't want to jinx myself and stuff everything up!

Toiletting post about to begin...look away those not interested!!!

We FINALLY started making Megan wear undies to bed rather than a nappy. I can hear your cries of shock and horror that a 4 yr old was still wearing night nappies. It was part laziness by us and part respect for the "she'll do it when she's ready" adage.

For those not up with the 'Megan toilet saga', she trained herself with wee really easily after she was 2. But we had a whole world of trouble with her going to the toilet to do poo. She has only just got the hang of it after 2 years of cleaning up accidents.

Surely now you can understand our hesitation in taking the leap into night training?? Changing sheets and pyjamas at 3in the morning isnt appealing. And since she had had difficulties in the past we didn't want to rush her before she was ready.

However I'm happy to say that Megan seems to have worked out the mechanics of emptying out before going to bed and holding on during the night. She had an accident the first night but has been dry all this week...even at a sleepover with her aunty in a different bed/environment.

We do make her go to the toilet before she goes to bed and we wake her up to go again when we go to bed. This probably isn't teaching her to wake up herself, but since it causes no big inconvenience to us we will stick to this plan for now.

Any other ideas on getting her to wake herself up would be greatly appreciated!!

Hopefully I haven't jinxed us all and she wets the bed each night from now on!!

Things they've learnt...

Whilst the kids are always in the middle of learning something, some things seem like such a hurdle that they will never be conquered. I needed to remember that they do eventually manage to master those skills.

Of course there is the usual milestones that are such achievements- smiling, walking, talking. But I've also been thinking back on all the other less momentous, yet still important, things they've learnt.

•to eat yoghurt without wearing most of it
•to dress themselves
•to close their eyes whilst getting shampoo rinsed out
•getting their arms into the straps of the car seat
•getting their own drinks out of the fridge (though still not closing the door!)

Remembering these might give me that extra boost of patience I need to deal with the next set of skills!

A Leftie...?

How, in a family FULL of right-handed people, did we get a 'leftie"? Definately left handed, writng and now kicking the footy.

Can a leftie be made? When Alex was learning to eat, I would sit opposite him to feed him. So my right-handed spoon was often stolen by his closest hand-the left.

Can't explain the left footed kicking though.......

Almost...maybe...could be...!

Don't want to jinx myself, but I think we might be getting there...almost, maybe, could be...!

Megan has been doing #1s in the toilet with few accidents for almost a year now. Sadly, #2s were not so easily learned.

We tried everything, every strategy we could find, every suggestion we heard about. We made reward charts, promised lollies, made her clean her undies, laughed at accidents, ignored accidents, made her sit for ages, let her have nuddy time, wrote a 'Poo Story', got the potty out, hid the potty...you name it, we tried it.

We growled in frustration a lot (not proud of that one), but after a year of cleaning pooey undies, it was hard not to! She got frustrated too, she cried sometimes and often hid or said she hadn't had an accident when she had. She would even hold it in.
It's not like we forced it on her- she wanted to be a big girl and do poo in the toilet...she just didnt get it. We were so worried, especially after the health nurse said that she could lose the sensation of needing to go if she kept it up. Pleasant topic I know!!!

But I think the penny may have dropped. She is happy to toddle off now and so proud when she can tell us (and yes, even show us) when she has gone. She isn't 100% yet, but there have only been 1-2 minor accidents in about a month. What was the trigger, the key.....no idea! Time, I guess. And if you had told me that 12 months ago, I would have laughed...and possbily thrown you off a tall building.

Upon reflection, she clearly wasn't ready for doing poo in the toilet but since she was definately ready for weeing, how do you manage one and not the other? And worse still...do I want to go through it all again with Alex??? He's about the age Megan was when she first started and he is certainly interested in it all. But I think we can hold him off for a bit. Surely he can survive in nappies for a while longer..!

He's a real boy...!

This is gonna sound really dumb, but I've started to notice that Alex is a real boy now! Not in the Pinnoccio sense, but no longer a baby, not even a toddler any more. He's a little boy. He still throws toddler tantrums and asked for his dummy yesterday, but apart from that, almost all sense of toddler-dom have gone. He speaks so well and so clearly that I have to remind myself that he's only 2. And he is such a little character, that you can't help notice his boy-ness. I LOVE this little boy stage. Fun, energetic, rough, cheeky, charming, stubborn, lovable :) The 'baby' ride is over. The 'boy' journey is beginning!

Swearing at two...??

I love listening to kids when they are learning to speak. Alex has a few choice words at the moment that crack me up when he says them, but he doesnt understand why. He thinks he is speaking well and I don't want him to start questioning himself, but they are hilarious mistakes.

Currently, he is obsessed with vehicles...diggers, buses, motorbikes...but he hasn't quite got the pronunciation. At the moment, every "truck" we see is pronounced with an f instead of the tr. Quite funny...and even funnier to watch other people's reactions if they aren't used to his way of speaking.

The other classic crack up is when Mr Independance has trouble doing something. "I do it" becomes "can't" but with a u sound instead of the a. And if he is really frustrated, it sounds like he is swearing because he is struggling! Another great one to watch the shock of others while trying hard to hide the smirk on my own face!

Bikes and Dentists...

Bikes and dentisits....thankfully these two are not related in today's blog. There has been no disasterous bike accident needing immediate dental work ~ thank heavens!! No, these are just two big things in Megans life at the moment.

Megan got a bike for Christmas and, boy, was it money well spent! Mike got the traditional Dad-job of putting it together before Christmas day and we made sure we did it the day before Christmas eve so we could race to the shops if anything was missing (nothing was!)

She loves her bike. We went for a walk around the block the other day so she could go for a real ride. We made it halfway before she wanted to walk, but she looked after the bike herself which suited us with a pram and 2 dogs on leads!

We have a small paved patio area where she rides in small circles and thinks it fantastic. We have a huge house block by todays standards but it isnt really bike friendly. Stones are hard ot ride on and steps up and down the patio dont help either. We may have to make some adjustments so she and Alex can hoon around like I did as a kid :)

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *       *      *      *      *

Megan had her first denal visit today. Just a get to know you visit, really. We talked about what the dentist does, the big chair, etc and as if by heavenly intervention, "Play School" had a segment on destists yesterday too. All necessary preparation for the stress-head, Megan.

So when we went along to the dentist this morning, she thought it was great. She wouldnt sit on the chair by herself, only on my lap, but she was happy to wear the groovy sunglasses, open her mouth when told and let the dentist have a look at her teeth. She was most impressed with the tooth-fairy sticker she received from the dental nurse when we left. A successful visit as far as she was concerned!

***Not so successful for me however...a filling for me plus being told to get orthodontal cover on our health insurance coz Megan will need it when she gets older... AWESOME!!